Wednesday, 4/14/10 - No-tech!

Pardon me but I am taking you somewhere you might not want to go. Someplace private.

But before we go there, can we both agree that technology can be pretty amazing?

Technology is apparent and pervasive in all areas of our lives. It has gotten smaller and smarter and it continues to improve at an incredible pace.

But...

... there are some places that technology should stay out of.

One such place is the bathroom.

I don't know about you, but I like handles. Maybe it's a control thing but I like to be able to turn it on when I want it and turn it off when I don't.



And I think that I am a responsible enough person to be able to recognize situations where I might be wasting resources and to take steps to conserve.

This morning I went into a public bathroom and there was not one handle in the whole place. Not one!

Not on the faucets, not on the urinals, not on the towel or soap dispensers and not even on the commode.

When did this happen? When did we lose all controls?

So, there I was, prisoner to this automated room.

I went in with a purpose and chose a middle stall. My logic here is that most people would choose an end stall and the middle one would therefore be less used and more sanitary.

I am the type who appreciates establishments that provide seat covers.

This place had none so I lined the seat with toilet paper. Or at least I TRIED to line the seat with paper.

It seems that we haven't quite figured out how to determine if someone is coming or going because when I placed some paper on one side of the seat and then reached for some more to line the other side, there was a deafining roar that echoed throughout the room. It was accompanied by a great frothing and flowing within the bowl.

And there was a great spraying of water.

So much spraying that the paper I had just placed was now soaked.

I tried again and, once more, there was a great noise and a frothing and a flowing and a misting and a spraying.

And again, my paper was wet.

I tried this four times before deciding that my need was not that pressing. There were only eight more hours of work, I could wait...

After all of this I went to the sink to wash my hands.

You are supposed to place your hand under the soap dispenser and it should automatically dispense the proper amount of handsoap into your palm. At least, that is the way it should work.

What actually happens is that you put your hand under the dispenser and nothing happens. You move your hand left and right, up and down, back and forth, in and out, around and around and there is nothing.

As soon as you decide to try another dispenser and move away from this one - squaaaa-flttt - a dollop of handsoap is squirted onto the floor.

Look around and you will notice gooey globs of handsoap under each dispenser.

After trying, and missing, at each of the dispensers I decide that just water is good enough and I place my hand under the faucet.

Nothing.

So, I try the same moves as I did under the soap dispenser. Left and right, up and down, back and forth, in ... and ... finally a shot of water!

But that is all it is, just a shot. One little shhhhhht of water. Barely enough to wet one hand.

So, I start over, left and right, up and down, back and forth, in ... and ... another short shhhhht of water!

And that was it. No matter how I moved or gyrated this faucet was giving nothing more.

OK, so maybe just dampening your hands is good enough and the real work of sanitizing is done in the drying phase.

I step on over to the World Dryer bolted to the wall and place my hands beneath it and - surprise! - it starts whrrrrrrrrrring immediately.

But it doesn't last and once it stops it refuses to start again. Hands out then back under, left and right, up and down, back and forth, in and out...

And after a few minutes of that, my hands are dry enough.

With all of my business unfinished, I leave and return to work.

I don't know about you but I believe there are places for technology and places where technology just does not belong.

Me? I will opt for no-tech. I like handles.