Sunday, 8/8/10 - To Be or Want To Be

You will never be what you want to be.

You can only be what you are.

The only way to become the person you want to be is to behave like that person. Think about the word 'behave' - 'be' and 'have'. To have, you must be.

Wanting is easy, you just have to sit there. Being is harder, it requires effort. Pretty scary, huh? Kinda makes you want to re-think what things you might want in life.

Even though being might be harder, it is not impossible. People do it every day.

Would you like me to tell you one way to transition from wanting to being?

Start by making a list of everything that you want to be.

I am going to use a lot of being words, like 'make', and avoid wanting words, like 'imagine'. Imagining is fine but you have done that already. You imagined yourself as someone else. Now it's time to become what you imagined, and that will require action.

Once you have your list together, prioritize it so that the thing you want most is at the top.

Now, put away that list and start a new one.

From this day forward, you are whatever you wanted to be.

Let's say you decided to be a writer. You made your list, prioritized it and writer came out on top.

You declared "I am a writer!", put away your initial list and started a new one...

Now what?

Now you start doing what every successful person has always done; you start doing.

I can see that look, you don't know what to do. That's OK, that is what your new list is for.

At the top of the new list write "THIS IS WHAT WRITERS DO". Beneath that, write down all of the things that you know writers do.

It may sound silly but one of your entries should probably be "WRITE" because that is something that writers do. Another might be "RESEARCH" or "READ". Whatever it is you think that writers do.

Now, comes the hard part, the part that separates those-who-are from those-who-want-to-be. Now, you have to start doing those things that are on your list. Not just today, but every day.

From now on, you ARE a writer. You know what writers do and you are doing those things every day.

As you gain experience as a writer (or whatever you have chosen to be), you can alter your list. You wrote your list before you were a writer, now that you are one you know better what it is that you-as-a-writer do every day. Maybe you find that sitting in a public space watching people sparks something creative in you. Add that to your list and do it often.

You will not have time to do all of the things you used to do along with all of the things you now do as a writer. Things will have to change.

Change is good.

If you are serious about being a writer then making time to do things writers do should be a priority. Use whatever method you need to set aside time to be what-you-had-once-wanted-to-be-and-now-are.

People will begin to notice that you are different. Some will be supportive others will be critical. If their criticism is helpful, use it to become a better writer. If not, thank them for their observations and continue being who you are.

If all of this sounds like work, if you make excuses for why you can't - if doing things that writers do does not bring you joy - then you may not really want to be what you thought you wanted to be.

If you were honest with yourself about what you wanted to be then nothing you do as that person will ever feel like work.

Too often, we are introduced to people only after they have achieved a level of success and recognition in their field. We see the money and the fame and they are so good at what they do that it looks easy. What we forget is that they were once where we are now. It is only through their hard work and dedication that they managed to separate themselves from all of the want-to-be's. Every successful person had to start somewhere. Just like you.

You may even find ways to prepare for your success.

As a writer, you may want to go to a library or a bookstore and observe people reading. You may want to look at the books that have been written.



You may want to find the section where your books will be.



And then locate the shelf they will occupy.




You might want to look at the names of the authors that will be beside you and push them apart, leaving a space just wide enough for your first book.



So, now you are a writer, you're enjoying doing things that writers do. If you want, you can go back to your original list, find what you wanted to be after becoming a writer and start your list of activities for becoming that person.

Hey, there is no law that limits what you can be.

To be or want to be: that is the question.

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If you wonder if you are talented enough to be what you want to be then you might want to read The Myth of Talent by Craig Tanner or Dance (a true story) by a writer-photographer.