Monday, 8/23/10 - Raindrop

Edward sits alone at the table and watches people outside the small restaurant rushing by in the rain. They're all carrying bags, briefcases and backpacks but very few have raincoats or umbrellas. He wonders at the manner of impractical things packed into the parcels that these people carry. Why not something useful like an umbrella?

He watches as Holly runs past the window and stops under the portico. She throws away the newspaper she held over her head and shakes the water from her hair and clothes.

Before they leave, he will give her his umbrella. His raincoat has a hood and he is only going one block to the subway, Holly will be walking three blocks to her apartment.

He fights the urge but as she enters the restaurant he checks his watch. It's not to see if she was late - he knew she would be late - but, to see just how late she is. Twenty-two minutes. Rain, three blocks, not bad.

"Daddy!" She gives him a kiss hello. Her cheek cold and damp against the side of his face. "This rain is awful!" She removes her coat and hangs it on one of the empty chairs then looks around, searching.

"In the far corner."

"Oh, yeah." She turns and heads for the ladies room.

Edward watches her. She is beautiful, he thinks, just like her mother.

She returns a few minutes later and studies the menu. "I'm cold and hungry. Something warm would be nice."

"So, how are you? How's the job?"

"Great! Great."

"And Chad, how's he doing?"

"Great." It was the same fake perkiness. "Have you had their homemade pot pie?"

Two things bothered him: Holly had invited him to dinner - supposedly to talk - and she wasn't talking, the other, which bothered him just as much, was that they called it "homemade" when it was made here in this restaurant. He could do nothing about the pot pie but he could find out about his daughter.

They decided on dinner, placed their order and sat a little uncomfortably.

"Honey, is everything OK?"

"Yeah, everything is fine."

He watched the way she shredded the straw wrapper, rolling each little piece into a ball then placing the balls in a small pile. "You seem a little upset. Is there something bothering you? Something I can help with?"

"Oh, Daddy, it's nothing."

"Well then, if it's nothing then it shouldn't be too hard for us to talk through and to figure out together."

She smiled at him, at his line. He was always so practical and she knew that he meant that they could figure it out together. It had taken her many years and lots of tears to understand that for Edward, keeping things working was his way of expressing love. He was never very good with emotions, hers or his, but give him a problem and he would demonstrate how much he cared about you.

"And how are you doing, Dad?"

"Great! Great." They both gave a half-hearted laugh at him mimicking her earlier response. "No, really, I am doing fine."

"Have you seen Mom lately?"

He told her about the lawyers and her mother's recent request for more money. "I'd give her anything. Why does she pay... no, why does she have me pay for lawyers? Why doesn't she just ask me?"

"She probably feels guilty."

The conversation eddies around the divorce before moving along to Holly.

"So, what's happening? Is everything OK with you and Chad?"

"Oh, Daddy, on the surface everything is fine. We get along well. Maybe too well."

"You get along too well?"

"You're not going to understand this but our problem is that he won't fight with me."

Edward considers this, waiting for more. When nothing else comes, he asks the only question he can. "And this is a problem, how?"



"I know it seems silly but if Chad really loved me then he would be man enough not to give in to everything just because that is what I want. I mean, he has to have some ideas or opinions of his own but he never expresses them. If I say the sky is green he will never say that I am wrong and that the sky is blue."

He hears what she is saying. It's not the first time he has heard these words.

"He has no opinions about anything. He says he doesn't care about what we eat for dinner, where we go on vacation, if we have children."

Her words are just echos.

"No matter what I say or do, he agrees. It's horrible!"

Edward knows what's coming next, he's heard it before. He wants to tell her now what he had tried to tell her mother. There were no words then and there are none now. Please, please, don't say that he has nothing inside.

"He's a nice guy but it's like there is no one inside of him. Sometimes I think that he would die without me telling him what to do."

Her words, her mother's words...

"Daddy, are you OK? You're crying."

He wipes the tear from his cheek. "No, baby, it's just a raindrop."