They weren't always this way but lately more and more Americans have become dumb.
On a recent 12 hour drive I looked for ways to quietly entertain myself so as not to wake my sleeping passenger.
One way is to play the game Auto-noyance. This is not the nicest game to play but it is a lot of fun and it does require some skill to play it well.
The idea is to watch for weavers - the ones that are in too much of a hurry to give the people in front of them time to move out of the way. The ones that weave in and out and back and forth just to gain a car length or two.
Once you spot one you calculate how best to pin them into a position where they cannot move. It's like Tetris - only bigger.
The trick is to do this without giving anyone the perception that you did it on purpose. That is where the skill comes in. You have to time it correctly and either increase or decrease your speed by only a small degree to pin them in place.
Too slow and they squirt out in front of you. Too fast and they just pull in behind and around you.
Once you have them in a position where they cannot move, you have to hold them just long enough to spike their blood pressure before you allow them to pass.
Like I said, its a fun and skillful game but it is not very nice.
On this trip I didn't feel evil enough for Auto-noyance so I decided to watch for interesting quotes on bumper stickers. My thought was that I would relate the best one to you in this blog.
The problem was that in 12 hours of driving I saw very few bumper stickers.
I expected religious statements, sports emblems, "my kid..." exclamations, and the whiny "I'd rather be..." stickers and I got some of that but not in the volume that I had anticipated.
At first I thought it was just an anomaly but after 12 hours I realized that this was serious.
Our cars are sacred and bumper stickers have always been a silent oratory of our beliefs and views. We would say things on our bumpers that we would not or could not say in any other way or in any other forum.
We loved our cars and anything else we loved was proclaimed on our bumpers.
Somehow, in recent years Americans have become voiceless and that silence is evident in the showroom clean bumpers traveling along the highways of this country.
Elie Wiesel wrote, "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference".
If bumpers are any indication then Americans have become indifferent.
And although I didn't always agree with what was written, I always read what was posted on the windows, trunk lids, side panels and bumpers of automobiles around me.
I miss those quotes, the little quips, the words of wisdom, the pride filled passages and the honor, the humor and the honesty that was once so prevalent.
America, what has made you dumb?
I miss the sight of your voice.
Speak to me.
Well, my bumper is mute and will not talk to you, my friend. However, my back window says SPC parking which at least speaks to you in a whisper.
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