Sunday, 6/20/10 - A New Friend

So, you have a new friend.

I am happy for you.

Actually, we are all happy for you.

All of us.

All of your "old" friends.

And just so you know, we all miss you.

For years we had all done things together and now you don't come around anymore. You never call and when we call you just tell us that you are hanging with your new friend.

Yes, I know his name is Bill.

You are not the first one in the group to become Bill's friend. We have lost other friends to Bill.

What I don't understand about Bill is why he monopolizes your time.

Let's be real about this, OK?

You have never met Bill but you run around telling the world how you are his friend. I'm a friend of Bill. I'm a friend of Bill. I'm a friend of Bill... Brawk, brawk, braaaawk - like a damn chicken.

I'm sorry. No, really, I am sorry.

I just don't understand why Bill thinks we are such bad people when WE have been here and HE has not.

Where was Bill all those times we just happened to show up at the bar at closing time to drive you home? Did you think that we were just passing by at that hour?

Where was Bill when you totaled your car? Or when you lost your license for a year? We all made sure you got where you were going.

Where was Bill during the first intervention we put together? I don't recall seeing him at the second one, either.

Where was Bill when you lost your job? Or when you lost your house?

Where?

Bill was absent through most of the tough times and now, now that you are getting healthy, Bill doesn't want you hanging around with us.

If you ask me, Bill sounds a little insecure about his friends.

If it helps you to hang out with Bill then we all wish you well.

I don't understand but, as a friend, I will support you. I miss you. We all do.

It is frustrating, really frustrating...

... you don't mind if I have another drink do you?