Saturday, 6/26/10 - Stay

Do I have to go?

I really don't want to.

Can't I just stay here?

I know that I complain from time to time about how bad it seems but if I had my way, I would stay right here. Well, maybe not right here where it's flat and hot. I might like to try the mountains where it's green and cool, where the earth reaches up to brush against the sky and where you can see for miles and miles. Or someplace with snow that shines white-white under the sun and holds moonlight like a big cut-crystal bowl at night. Or maybe a bustling city with corner cafes, subways and blinking neon lights.

You see, if I stay here I will have choices.

Choices are good. Even bad choices can be good. Nice part about choices is that you can change your mind. I don't want to go where I can't change my mind.

Sure, this place has its ups and downs, its bad and good, its day and night, light and dark, in and out. It's sometimes rough and sometimes smooth. It can be a laugh, a cry, a burden, a relief, a killer or a life saver. I kinda like those things. They make it interesting.

I like the daytime. I like it a lot but maybe that's because it comes after the night. I don't think that I would want it to be daytime forever.

Do you see what I mean?

I see nothing interesting over there. Just look, it's the same thing every day. Sure, it's good and happy and pretty... pretty boring.

Might be nice for a long weekend but that's about it.

I know you want to reward me for working hard and doing the best I could. For living well. For loving. For caring. And I thank you for thinking of me but I like it here.

I really do.

I like viewing both clouds and daisies from this perspective.

I don't mean to be ungrateful but heaven just doesn't sound like someplace I would like very much.

So, if you don't mind, when I'm done, I'll just stay here.